Summer's A Endin'

So it is ending once again. Another summer gone and another school year beginning. I don't know how I feel about it this year. I feel as though I always see the new year beginning now instead of in January. We grow up over the summer, we get that pent up energy out of our systems, we get a chance to be free. Then when it ends we go back to scheduled lives, academic agendas, friends we haven't seen, and lives we have put on pause. Once you get out of the "schooling" years I guess this ends too. It seems to me that we are all chasing after our lives, either trying to out win it or trying to run backwards.

Picture three people in an air terminal. The one is running as fast as they can to catch their plan. Life has gone ahead and is just passing them by while they try to catch up. Another is running backwards on the walking treadmill trying to weave through the people because they forgot to say goodbye. Life has pasted and the fellow has missed out, forgotten to say goodbye to their friend their lover their dead father or just someone living in the past. The last is the one I hope to be someday. They are just walking slowly down the air terminal to their next gate. They are striding along with life, not trying to catch up when it races forward and not trying to remake the past. They are content with whatever ends up happening.

At the end of each summer I try to evaluate my life. Have I accomplished the goals I had set, did I change, was a level of maturity reached, how can I make it through the coming year...They are all things people ask themselves, but what are the answers. Right now I feel like I'm between running backwards and feeling totally overwhelmed that I will need to let go and run ahead to catch up. That guy walking along will smile at me and think, "She'll get it right one of these days." I've met those people. The "content" people. They are so calm, so relaxed, happy to help. The models of society, the ones we need running the countries of the world, the ones we won't dearly as a friend, the ones that make it without a migraine at the end of the day, the ones who don't spend their time regretting...

Some day I will be one of those people, I'm working on it and I can say that this summer has taught me many things. It has taught me to keep working, to keep chugging along. It has taught me to follow my passions and my dreams, make them something on the top of my list, that I may need to wait for other things that seem sooo important. Get where I need to be and then think about the more "fun" things. Life is about making your life happy and fulfilled and I plan on never forgetting that truth. I love life, I love living, and I love breathing.

So summer is ending and in a couple of weeks I'll be running around "terminals". I'll be busy and scared at times, but there will be laughs shared and remembered too. School is an exciting time even if its overwhelming. All of you who are going back to high school remember that it will be over soon, anyone headed to college for the first time remember that its super fun but don't let it get ahead of you, people going back to college for a second third fourth five time remember the joys of friends and the work that will get you to those dreams, and everyone else remember all the times you have had and look forward to the new ones if you haven't found what you want find it. Be happy...until next time

Eat Pray Love

There are some films that will always stick with me. Some that make me laugh like The Hangover or Some Like It Hot, some that make me cry like Atonement and V for Vendetta, some that make me angry and deeply concerned like Jesus Camp and Hell House, some that inspire me like Mona Lisa Smiles and Erin Brockovitch, and the list continues. You get the point, I'm sure you share similar opinions about films as I do in your own way of course. We already know that films turn my life around, but one that I have seen recently I had been waiting to see since I found it was being filmed. I am guilty, I didn't read the book first (my mother lost it and I was to lazy to go to Borders or the local library), but the film moved something in me that hadn't been moved in awhile. It made me look at my life differently and how I want to live my life. Eat Pray Love was not only well cast, but the cinematography and the length made you feel as though you were experience Elizabeth Gilbert's life adventures along with her. Julia Roberts as you may know is my favorite actress, but she acted so well and worked so diligently to make it seem that her life was being turned upside down. She made you think that maybe there is more in a life then getting married having kids and watching yourself grow older. Those things those dreams you created when you were back in college should be made a reality. If you wanted to spend time alone, on your own, then go out and do it. Don't hold back because you never know what will happen down the road. If you have the opportunity then jump for it. It may sound stupid and it may sound unrealistic, but I live my own life in terms of "surrealisticness" I make them realities simply because I don't want to watch myself age in my mirror. Look at the wrinkles form without really living, just passing the time. I want to see the world and shouldn't you give that opportunity to yourself as well? The surreal and spontaneous world is much more exciting (scary most definetly) but more exhilerating then a world lived in a cubical with the same schedule everyday. Who says you have to settle? Your parents, your grandparents, or was that just a rule that was created because people were to afraid of the unknown. Scared to see the world that was out there. We don't want to see corruption or poverty, we want to shadow our lives. I am frightened of things I have yet to see, but that doesn't mean I want to hide myself away and not experience it. If we all tried to "see" a little more and put ourselves out there, maybe the earth we live on wouldn't be dying so quickly or the society we live in wouldn't be so "fucked" up. I have always seen my life one step at a time. Yes I have dreams and goals, but instead of creating them and never actually fulfilling them, I find a way to make them come true even if it seems impossible. For example, I made it a goal to get into Penn State. My grades were horrible in grade school because I had terrible anxiety, but even though I didn't get in on the first shot, I figured it out. Where am I now? A sophomore returning to school at Main Campus this fall. You can do it, if you really set your mind on it. People will try to tell you are unrealistic and ridiculous, take it with stride and say, "Yep you're probably right." They can find out later that you crazy son of a bitch did exactly what you had set your heart on. One mistake I probably make, is I follow my heart before my head, but in the end it makes me happy. So if traveling to three countries in a years time to find yourself is what you need to do to fulfill the end goal, DO IT! If it's something completely different, find a way to make a bridge to the island where your dreams await you. If you ask me, I'm a dreamer and I will never change.