It's Been Awhile

So it's summer and let me just say I wouldn't be tired of it already if I wasn't stuck in a place where my freedom was restricted to the limit. Thankfully my dear friend, Greg, came to visit this weekend, and since my parents love my guy friends, I had a lot of time on my own without questions or interruptions. I felt like I was back at college, or a real adult for maybe the first time since I have lived at the top of the hill in Hummelstown.

Adulthood seems to be a good time in ones life. You find out who you are, where your going, and what you may see as the days and months pass by. Time seems to speed up because you are finally doing things that truly interest you and most of the time you get the opportunity to do these things with people you love. I have found for me at least, that love is more of a friendship code then one that involves a relationship. I have always been the third wheel, in most situations, and almost am more content on the fact that I am my own person and don't have to worry about the fact that I may not be acting or keeping another individual happy and care free at all times. Maybe its because I grew up in a family that fought a lot, not that that is unhealthy, but sometimes it makes you think, if this is how relationships are what's the point. I'd much rather help a friend figure it out, then maybe have to deal with it first hand. Maybe I'm just not ready to be strapped down yet haha, I don't know. I always feel like there is more to see and do and if I'm not with someone as spontaneous as me, I may not get to see and do the things that pop up in my head.

For example, this weekend, Greg and I had no plan, we figured we would end up in Gretna by the lakeside, but that "plan" never happened. We drove around Harrisburg, from Goodwill to Arab country of PA, drove all the way out to Steelton, into Lebanon, passed four cars in the rain heading out to Lancaster, ended up shopping in the mall, which gave Greg the opportunity to put me in girly clothes, and ended up napping back at home till dinner, ending the night with a nice camp fire. It was a lovely day, but I never would have expected seeing or doing any of those things that day, and I enjoy having a life of "mystery". It's thrilling to not have a schedule or a place that you need to be, it's part of being young and wild haha, but I don't see it leaving anytime soon, or ever if I can help it. I see life more as a film that isn't completed, I'm a director of my own life, not that this hasn't been said hundreds of times before me, but I do. I was at a high school graduation a week ago, and all the commencement speeches had one thing in common, you can do what you want and become who you want to be and yes there are consequences for the decisions you make, but from here on out the choices you make are yours and no one has the right to take that ability away from you. And its true, if you live in a place like America, you shouldn't let someone else say, "When you grow up you have to be a doctor or a lawyer." Be what you want to be, be smart about it, but find something that you won't hate doing everyday. For me, writing was the path I choice, I'm not done with it, but I took a smart route, I love art and film, but I know that it will be easier to find a job in journalism, I want to live in New York City for the rest of my life, its going to be challenging and to even get by in NYC you need a job. The economy might be dwindling, but its part of the challenge. I find it exhilarating, scary as hell, but still amazingly exciting at the same time. Anyway this post has gone in all directions I fear, but I hope you got something out of it. Until next time...